Four days before I was supposed to join my congregation, I realized I had to come out as transgender. I couldn’t stand before my God and my spiritual community without bearing my entire soul.

The first day of my transition

In the Unitarian Church, there is a refrain we repeat during service: “All our lives we are in need of others and others are in need of us.”

I came home that day and told my boyfriend the news. I couched the disclosure in so many round-about explanations of what I was feeling that I might have only half told him and let him fill in the gaps.

I told my parents over the phone. My mom asked for my forgiveness, which is not the reaction most trans people expect to receive from their parents. I told her she had nothing to apologize for but she insisted. She said that I had made it clear that this was who I was when I was young.

The next day, I came into the office and told everyone the news. I knew I was doing this in a safe space because my workplace’s support of transgender rights had been demonstrated over the past year through various initiatives. I was received with compassion and kindness.

For decades I had imagined that living as my authentic self would require a hard break and a fresh start. I thought I would have to scrap my entire career and hide my tracks.

Now I am transitioning while still keeping the things I love about my life. I am using this site as a space to document my experience and share some courage with anyone that might need the help.


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